Friday, January 20

::To Olivia on Your 2nd Bday::

January 21, 2012

Dear Olivia,

How could it be that we are celebrating your 2nd birthday without you? It seems as strange as it is unbearable. What should be such a happy day is now a day filled with longing for you. For this reason the storms this morning seemed appropriate, although I silently thanked God for the parting of the clouds and shining of the sun as we visited you and released balloons. It seemed to me that heaven was with us at that moment.

I wonder what you would be like at 2. Would your sweet, content spirit still be front and center or would you be entering the "terrible 2's?" Would your hair be long, curly, brown or dark blonde? Do you still have the "angel kiss" on your eyelid? What would your favorite toys be? And your favorite song, book and food? Would you be getting into your brother's things and making him mad or could you still do no wrong in his eyes? Would you love all things girly? Would we be playing dolls and dress up? Or would you prefer to be outside? Do you still twirl your wrists, ankles and toes when you get excited? How I long to see you and hold you! When you were a baby I used to wish you'd stay a baby forever because I was so content to sit and rock you for hours. Now, I just wish I could see you at every stage.

I believe that you are growing with Jesus in heaven. Daddy reminds me that you wouldn't come back to this world even if you could. Things are too perfect there. I hope Jesus throws you the best birthday party ever. Brother wants to put a wrapped toy in a balloon and send it to you in heaven so you can open it when it gets to you. I thought that was pretty smart. Because the toy would be too heavy he settled for releasing balloons with a petit for attached. We'll celebrate you as a family today and blow out your candles and send birthday wishes to you in heaven, where we all can't wait to be with you one day. Until then, my precious girl, please know how much we love you. We wouldn't trade the 9 months we had with you for anything in the world. You are such a blessing to us.

All my heart,

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