Parrish had an extra-special Valentine's Day this year...today he learned he is going to be a big brother again! That's right...we're pregnant. 13 weeks along and due August 21st! It's been a long and bumpy road getting here. We've suffered with fertility issues over the last year as well as doubts about the health of this pregnancy, but thankfully, it looks like this little one is doing great and we couldn't be more thankful.
Parrish got up this morning and we made the promised heart-shaped pancakes (which we delivered to dad in bed bc he has the flu!), then we gave Parrish a Valentine's gift of a "big brother" shirt and a homemade felt fortune cookie (easy tutorial on the Martha Stewart website here) with a sonogram picture of his new little brother or sister inside. I think he was a little shocked (pleasantly I think) but shocked none the less. I really thought he might have an idea of what was coming just from overhearing conversations over the last few weeks, but I think he was totally surprised. Here's a video of his very comical reaction to the news. (I especially love the look on his face when I ask him if he's going to help me change diapers!)
We have only told a few people about this pregnancy because we didn't want to tell Parrish until we were as certain (as anyone can be) that the pregnancy was going to be viable. So, it just didn't feel right to announce it to everyone until he knew. That said...now he knows....so if I've told you a fib over the last month about not being pregnant...please forgive me and just kidding! I really AM pregnant! Ha Ha!
With the worries about this pregnancy, I have been thinking a lot about trusting in Jesus, and it just so happens that a few of our sermons lately have been about trusting and knowing Jesus. Our music director told us the tragic story of the author of the hymn, "Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus." In a nutshell, as a very young woman she witnessed her husband drown in the ocean as he was trying to save a drowning child. She then went on to work in the missions field and to write the words to this hymn that has comforted so many...all out of her excruciating pain.
Our pastor Randy went on to tell us this truth (one that none of us really likes to hear):
"Our happiness this side of heaven is not the most important thing to God."
I am thankful for a pastor who teaches us the hard truths, even when we don't want to hear it. God's main goal for our lives is to grow our faith, not that our every moment is filled with joy. Sometimes growing our faith means allowing some pretty unbearable things to happen to us. Randy then went on to quote A.W. Tozer..."It is doubtful whether God can use (bless) a man greatly, until first he wounds him deeply." Wow. I just sat there and let that sink in. It's true, but that doesn't mean I like it. I'd much rather skip the wounded deeply part. And I don't know exactly how he wants to use us or IF the reason we experienced something so awful was to grow our faith. But through my tested faith I, like the hymn says, have learned to simply trust him by faith and not by sight or experiences (at least most of the time!). It's easy to trust him when everything is going our way, but I am thankful for the foundation of faith he laid in me BEFORE we lost Olivia so that when things most definitely are not going our way, I can still trust him. I printed this scripture from etsy today and framed it for Cannon for Valentine's Day. It couldn't be more appropriate for us:
So we are looking forward to the future and our new little one and the joy he or she will bring to our family. This baby is a reinvestment in life and we are trusting Jesus with the details.
- Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
- How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
- Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
- Oh, for grace to trust Him more!