Wednesday, April 6

:: Joy is not the absence of trouble, but the presence of Christ ::

I felt a little better today since Tappy (my mom) and Glorio (my grandmother) were here to visit and help keep Parrish entertained. I had a doctor's appointment and needed mom's help in the OC antiques booth today so Glorio and P had fun playing Samurai's and watching lots of movies while we were gone. It was good to get out. My sweet hubbie even took us out to lunch and to visit the new La Paz they've got in the works. The interior already looks great and the patio is going to be so much fun. I can't wait until it opens.

A friend sent me a quote today that helped me a bit-"A God you can understand is not God." There is truth in that. It doesn't end my quest for understanding, but I think that's the point-we can't understand His ways because He wants us to keep seeking Him, even when we won't get all the answers this side of heaven.

Another friend gave me the book by Angie Smith called, "I Will Carry You". This book is another one of those heart wrenching reads that also feeds my soul. I don't know if it's the feeling of companionship in our sorrow and longing for our babies or if I find hope in her words because so many of her thoughts have been similar to mine over the last 5 months, but she included this popular quote in her book- "Joy is not the absence of trouble, but the presence of Christ." How true that statement is to me. I will always remember those words.

I am glad I read them on the eve of yet another 6th of the month. Have I mentioned to you that I can't stand the 6th of the month now?? Every month I wake up with a boulder on my chest the morning of the 6th. I can never believe another month has passed. It's funny how it can seem to take so long and also fly by at the same time. Day-by-day, minute-by-minute, breath-by-breath. We are surviving, and trying to re-invest in life, as hard as it is.

One of my reasons for re-investing is this smiling little ball of energy: our baby boy, Parrish, who has been the trooper of the century during his surgery and subsequent recovery period.

This is the brave little man as he waited for his turn for surgery. He was so brave. I shouldn't have expected any less, but he was almost excited about this "adventure." As we walked him to the "line" where we had to kiss and say good-bye we were trying to hold it together and be upbeat and excited for him when he started to whimper and not want to let me go. I felt the presence of Christ with us at that moment (and maybe his Sissy, too) as Roxanna stepped forward and took his hand from me. He hesitantly, but bravely said see you later and off he went without a fuss. All of the nurses were apparently flirting with him and he even got to call his anesthesiologist to the operating room on a cool walkie-talkie. Everyone at Children's was great and it was so nice to have Randy, our pastor at Double Oak, there to pray with us and distract us, too!
Parrish and George with matching casts shortly after being wheeled to his room from recovery. He was still pretty dazed and happy at this point, but unfortunately that did not last. At least he got to eat and eat and eat before the meds wore off and he started hurting. The poor thing had been so hungry all day and had busted me hiding and eating peanut butter crackers in the hospital waiting room. He was so funny and made me open my mouth to prove I wasn't eating what he thought I was eating. Oops.
His little face got so flushed and hot as he was recovering from the surgery, but he didn't let that keep him from playing with his play-doh. It was right after this picture was taken that he was in so much pain he was trying to walk out of the hospital, screaming for a nurse and saying, "Mommy, this is NOT a fun adventure!" The nurses were amazed because he had had Morphine, benadryl and motrin and still wasn't asleep 3 hours later. We are since discovered that our little man has the opposite reaction to these typically sedating drugs. Apparently they can make some kids hyper. You can imagine what a full time job it's been to make sure he's not trying to put weight on his cast. We've caught him hopping like a flamingo to get from point a to b, but have finally convinced him to at least slide on his bottom instead.
It's amazing what difference a day makes. This is on his way home from the hospital. Pop G and Nan P sent him the gorilla he named Gorillee (he also has pillee, blankee, lovee, get the point) He will probably name his first child something that ends in "ee" too.
I had to include this picture because it is so Parrish. Cannon took him to the pond in our neighborhood and he caught a bass from his wheelchair. Classic. Brings a smile to my face every time I look at it.
Another thing that makes me smile?? These 3 guys. My mom and I took Parrish and two of his buddies Kaden and Cade to see Hop on Tuesday. They were absolutely hilarious. They were dancing in their seats, chatting or staring at the screen and passing the candy back and forth the whole time. Every now and then I would just look over at them and hear their little conversation and smile. They are getting so big. When did that happen? It was good for all of us to get out and the movies are going to be a good play date for us over the next 9 weeks while Parrish is recovering.


  1. you continue to AMAZE me!! thank you for sharing your thoughts, feelings, and lovely words. as i said in the letter i wrote you 5months ago, olivia & your family has changed the way shawn & i look @ everything. we are forever grateful to you.

    glad recovery for parrish is going well. i know the presence of your mom must help tremendously! hugs & kisses to him!

    love you sweet friend.

  2. So proud of you Kristin, and love reading your thoughts on your blog. I read "I will carry you" after Mills died, and it was amazing how much I felt exactly what she decribes, but could never put it into words. Thanks for sharing the quote "Joy is not the absence of trouble, but the presence of Christ." Love this and so true! Glad Parrish is doing well! Stay strong, continuing to pray for you!:)